Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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