She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
