We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
