we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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