my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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