Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She's like a pop up book from hell.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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