He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
