Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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