i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
