u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
What a dumb baby whore.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
