well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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