puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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