Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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