its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
