i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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