The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
