I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
