hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
