Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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