No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
