My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
