im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
