OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
