would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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