Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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