i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize