You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
