Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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