I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
