You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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