I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
porn star boner night. come get it.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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