I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
