hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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