she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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