I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
