the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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