Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
