that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
