Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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