3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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