i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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