i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
