Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize