saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
