The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
