The police scanner is talking about you again....
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
