I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
When did angry sex become our thing?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I have already put on my inside pants.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize