It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
