just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
