Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
