Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just found a bag of teeth...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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