Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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