I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
