Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
