You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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