This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
