Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
