One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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