yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
