all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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