I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
