Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
